Brady and I went to see Dr. Ellerine this past Thursday for his 6-year well-visit check. While we were there about a month ago to deal with the phantom bloody ear episode, this was supposed to be a more relaxed, stress-free visit.... or so I thought.
To begin with, I had prepared Brady that he and Parker would be receiving their flu shots next Tuesday from Mommy's doctor, as the pediatrician was not making appointments for flu shots (they were awaiting their next shipment). What I did not realize was that if you were visiting the office for another reason, they had enough left to give you one. So, I weighed my options and decided that getting Brady's shot while there made sense. Parker could still go see Mommy's doctor on Tuesday. This would leave me only one screaming child at a time, right?
Thus, Drama #1. When Brady took one look into the "Orange Room" (the little cubbyhole generally reserved for vaccinations) he started to cry. Lucky for us all, Dr. E's nurse is the bomb and quietly shepherded him back to the exam room with the needle on her clipboard. I pulled Brady onto my lap (no small feat these days) and she was done in an instant.
Thinking we were done with needles, I told him nothing else would hurt. I sure wish I had known about the finger prick BEFORE I promised that one!
Enter Drama #2. You would have thought that she used a plunger to suck the blood from him the way he screamed at the finger prick. This child seriously has no tolerance for pain or needles. Good news is that his hemoglobin and cholesterol are perfectly normal.
When the nurse left, I thought it was all smooth-sailing from there. You would think I'd have learned by now.
Enter (Mommy) Drama #3. Dr. E asked Brady a bunch of questions about school, sports, sleep habits, eating habits, etc. He answered them all gladly and with ease. Then she looked at me and asked how he was doing in school. I answered her that we had no academic concerns. He is reading, doing math, writing well, etc.
I did however mention that on his progress report last week the only areas where he seems to fall short are conduct and control related. While he has "Mastered" many of the kindergarten skills and is "Progressing" in the remainder, he did receive the infamous "Needs Improvement" in using suitable voice control, not interrupting, letting other children answer, etc.
Now, when I had received the progress report I chuckled when I read it. We all know Brady's communication level - and we know that what is one of his greatest strengths can also be one of his weaknesses. What I wasn't prepared for was when Dr. E. looked at me and (over Brady's talking head) asked me if I thought perhaps we have ADHD with which to contend.
WHAT?!?! Did she really just throw that wrench? Now, according to Wikipedia (the proverbial answer for everything) here is what we're talking about:
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder is a neurobehavioral developmental disorder. ADHD is primarily characterized by the co-existence of attentional problems and hyperactivity, with each behavior occurring infrequently alone. While symptoms may appear to be innocent and merely annoying nuisances to observers, if left untreated, the persistent and pervasive effects of ADHD symptoms can insidiously and severely interfere with one's ability to get the most out of education, fulfill one's potential in the workplace, establish and maintain interpersonal relationships, and maintain a generally positive sense of self.
Shaking my head I said, "but he can easily sit and concentrate on reading, Legos, writing/coloring, etc. He can totally get into something and focus well." Yes, most ADHD kids can "hyper-focus," she said. What they cannot do is focus on one thing when there are other distractions around or control their reactions and their voices/bodies when there are surrounding interruptions to their focus.
Oh. Crap.
At this point all we can do is keep parenting and guiding, making sure we communicate regularly with his teachers about his classroom behavior. She said the other key thing to monitor closely is his self-esteem. One of the most heartbreaking parts of ADHD is that kids receive so much negative attention for their behaviors that they begin to think of themselves as bad kids.
This puts a lump in my throat just thinking about it. Brady has such an amazing sense of self, and the thought of him feeling defeated just kills me as a mom. Now, maybe it's all a bunch of babble that will right itself as he matures. Maybe not. Who knows at this point?
What I am 100% certain of is that this little boy - weighing in at 46 inches and 48 pounds - possesses such an amazing mind and an excitable, open and loving spirit. People who meet him - kids and adults alike - are drawn to his personality and his intelligence. He offers so much creativity and passion to this world.
What his future holds is of course unknown, but as a 'Mama Bear,' I will protect those gifts.
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