It's a beautify Saturday (April 20) morning and Amy ran off to one of her 3 different grocery stores she visits on any given weekend to fulfill the Plummer food stocking requirements. We were all going to go, but the boys were having brotherly fun upstairs while they were both getting dressed. Amy took off and would pick us up on her return from Aldi.
(Yes, not only does Amy go to 3 different stores to grocery shop, she generally drops by the house after each visit to unload.)
As it turns out, the kids both came downstairs 15 minutes after Amy left in long sleeve shirts/pants even though it was 75 degrees and sunny outside. I noted their fine sense of style, yet sent them back upstairs to put something on more weather appropriate. Another 15 minutes go by.
At this point, the prospect of aimlessly pushing the cart/kids through Publix while Amy shops for food items does not sound appealing. I had to do something else... frankly, anything else... I remembered my recently purchased grill cover was leaking, so off to Lowes we go. We all pile in the car (that would be Brady, Parker, and myself), open the sunroof, plug in the iPod, and head out.
While the boys are singing one of their favorite new Daddy songs "In the Dark", I figured I would be a little playful and tell Amy about the new plan. I sent the following email:
As I drive down the road, I chuckle to myself wondering what witty retort Amy will have for me. I imagine several 4 letter words sprinkled with a "whatever" or "shut up". After I check my email ONE MINUTE LATER, I see the following response. 
I am sure she is just being silly, so I respond...
like there's no issue leaving a 4 and 6 year old alone by themselves. I am glowing because I am so clever. I probably made Amy do a double-take, think "did he really do that", think "no way", think "what an a$$", then play along with my fun.
Wrong. It turns out Amy rushed home to take care of her "abandoned children". Sobbing she calls me and cries "where are the boys!?!? I can't find them in the house!!!" At first I have no idea what she's talking about. What in the world is she asking? Why would the boys be in the house?
As it turns out, Amy thought I actually left the kids and THEY WERE MISSING!!!! Funny, eh? Well, the best jokes often backfire.
As I reflected on this moment, I realized two things.
- Amy has little/no sense of humor when it comes to the children
- Amy has little/no faith in me as a father - or she went temporarily insane
The first does not surprise me. I have run up against this before, but I often like to poke the bear just for fun. The second realization was a shock. I consider myself a good father. I have my faults, but overall I would rank in the magic quadrant of fatherhood. I think the boys would agree with me as well.
So, I can only chalk this up to maternal protection instinct kicking in and impairing rational judgment due to a sudden loss of blood to the brain.
What
